Yep, It Was a Nightmare

This is my account of taking my 19 year old granddaughter to the airport that is 3 hours away for her flight to the UK to visit her boyfriend for 3 weeks.

I am finally getting myself back. I cannot begin to describe the two days of hell. But of course I will try. It was truly a nightmare. First of all, at 2PM on Friday, the 18th, it started snowing heavily. I was supposed to pick up Granddaughter, who works 25 minutes away, at 5PM.

By 4PM I knew I had to get on the road. By the time I got into the car after shoveling the driveway and packing the car with water, snacks, sleeping bag, and wool blanket, it was 4:15. It was still snowing heavily and the heavy wet snow was piling up. I backed out of the driveway and slid around on the street. Started off down our one way street at 5-10mph. Every time I slightly applied the ABS brakes, they made a strange scary sound. The car was slipping and sliding for a block. Stop sign, I could barely get stopped. I knew I could not do it.

I turned around right there and made my way back to the house and called Granddaughter from the driveway. I told her she would have to find someone to spend the night with. She got upset and said she had to come home. She was sick. I said I didn't think I could make it.

Then I thought of going the wrong way on the one way street reaching the main road quicker. I did that and continued carefully on my way. When I finally reached and entered the interstate, I texted Granddaughter that I was coming. She texted back NO. I texted Yes. I could not turn back and I could not pull over to argue it out with her. There were cars all along the way in the ditches.

We texted the same thing back and forth for miles, me crawling along on sheets of ice and snow in very heavy traffic. I was following a semi and trying to stay in his tracks. Once he moved into the left lane and I followed. I could not see out of my rear-view mirror or side windows. Actually I didn't even think to look, I was so intent on staying in his tracks. I had pulled right into the path of another semi. He barely missed hitting me. We crawled along for more miles and Granddaughter texted that she already had a ride. I said, I was coming anyway. I had no choice.

It took about 1 1/2 hours to get there. I pulled into the parking lot and waited for her to finish up, she had to work an extra hour, but it was now 6PM. She came out and said the interstate was closed. It wasn't but I didn't say anything because I didn't want to drive on it again anyway. We drove up a curvy slippery untreated road to the Doubletree Hotel. I pulled in and we got in line for a room. I did not ask how much. Luckily we got a room. No comb or toothbrushes with us.

When we got to the room, Granddaughter tried to call her mom. Over and over again, no answer. She started losing it and I could do nothing as she did not want to hear from me. Finally her mom answered and poor Granddaughter went to pieces. I didn't know what the hell was going to happen. But her mom got her calmed down. She told her the snow was stopping, there was no more on the way, that it was only raining in Asheville and Charlotte. It would all be cleared up by morning. Of course I knew better but kept my mouth shut.

I did not sleep more than two hours that first night in the hotel. I was so worried about the next day and looking outside every hour to see it still pouring down snow. Oh, and Sis called me before I went to bed, telling me do not attempt that trip to Charlotte, her hubby in the background saying no don't go. She said the weather was very bad in Asheville and all the way to Charlotte. She said her hubby had come to pick her up at work at about 5PM, leaving her truck there and driving her home in his 4 wheel drive. She said that did not help at all, they were all over the road. When they got to bottom of the mountain, they had to park there and walk up about a mile in 10 inches of snow, her in her work clothes and shoes. Guess that is a kind of hell. They had no electric when they got home.

In the morning I could only run my hands through my hair, putting the same clothes back on, woke Granddaughter at 8AM (I thought it was 7AM but the hotel clock was wrong)and went to check out. The lady behind the desk said her daughter was stranded on the interstate for 9 hours with her new baby. The lady said she could not help screaming in fear all night until her daughter was safely rescued.

It had stopped snowing but we had 8 inches on the car that I had to scrape off. I cried with painful frozen fingers and could no longer grasp the scraper so Granddaughter finished the job. The parking lot was not scraped so we carefully made our way to the main road, about a quarter of a mile. Then slowly home. I was praying that Granddaughter would be able to pack fast and we could get on the road by noon so we could be in Charlotte before dark. It did not happen, we did not get on the road until 3PM. All the way to Charlotte the road was barely scraped, lots of swerving around mounds of snow piled on the interstate. Hundreds of cars in the ditches turned every which way and covered in snow and ice. It looked like a war zone. I worried there may still be people in them.

We got close to our hotel and it was already dark. I pulled off at an exit for some food. The traffic was horrible and it seemed everyone wanted to run over us. The lights were too bright and I had a hard time reading signs. I must have been suffering severe fatigue because when we were in the drive through to order, Granddaughter said something to me and I started to cry, pulling away without ordering. Neither of us got to eat and she needed it badly. After that she refused to order when we stopped at Waffle House. But I guess I misunderstood and she meant she did not want anything to drink. So I drank half a cup of coffee and we left. I felt really bad when she said later she was ready to eat. But would not agree to stop again. At the hotel I went another night without sleep, none at all, sat up most of the night. I was worried about the terrible weather they were having in Newark and so afraid her flight would be canceled.

In the morning, I got hold of the airport and her 6:30AM flight was delayed 5.5 hours but we still had to be there at 4:30AM to check in and she had to be at the gate by 6:30AM regardless. We left the hotel at 4AM and when we got into the airport, there were thousands of people lined up everywhere. We could barely get in the door. Or move after that. Granddaughter said she was not going to fly again on a holiday. I said that would be a good idea.

We managed to find the Continental ticket desk and luckily there was a short line there, it looked really long but those people were waiting for other airlines. The lady who checked Granddaughter in was so thrilled with her itinerary because she had made sure she had 12 hours between flights in case of delay. So she had an 8 hour wait at Charlotte and a 6 hour wait at Newark. Good thing I had bought her a new laptop to replace her broken one.

When she got to Newark she had a urinary tract infection that caused her awful pain and she could hardly leave the bathroom. She called her mom in Florida and her mom, after calling the airport numerous times, finally found someone there to get her a wheelchair but as soon as Granddaughter sat down in it, she got back up and ran into the bathroom. Her only choice would have been to miss her flight and go to a horrible (I looked it up, internet said horrible) hospital. She decided she could make it to the UK and Andy promised her medical help when she got there (after an 8 hour flight). I have not heard but I hope she did get medical care.

I drove for home in the early morning darkness, got lost in Charlotte and had to backtrack many miles. Finally on the right road, I drove for 3 hours with my eyes trying to close on me and no food since a half a mayonnaise sandwich at noon the day before. The sun shone and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Until I got to Asheville where it got darker (it was still morning) and I could barely see the mountain. The traffic on the interstate out of Asheville was heavy and only one lane open. Hundreds of utility trucks in a convoy heading for VA and other places that had no power. There was a blizzard on the mountain gap but we all drove slowly. I was so thankful when I finally came to the exit to my town.  Had to guess at where the actual road was but I did not end up in a ditch. 

I made it into my driveway where I saw that our 7 inches of snow was now 11 inches. I checked my phone and saw that Sis had called again. I listened to the message and she said to stay another night in Charlotte because of bad weather moving in again. Too late, I was home.

I called her and she said for me to go into the house and have a big glass of wine, not coffee, wine. Sounded strange for breakfast and on an empty stomach but I did what she said.  Then I passed out in my chair for hours. Later I went to bed and passed out again for 12 hours. The next day I unpacked my overnight bag and put some things away. I sat down in my chair for a minute about 11AM and passed out cold again. Did not even know I had shut my eyes until I woke up 3 hours later. I don't think I have ever been so tired.

I am a bit nervous about going back to pick her up on Jan 9 as it is a Saturday and the bad weather seems to be in a 7-day weekend cycle that will probably continue throughout the winter. This was the first time I have ever driven in snow and I do not like it.

Please Don't Let It Snow

Big snow coming. I have to drive 50 miles round trip tonight, leaving at 11:30PM and after picking up Granddaughter, returning home around 12:30AM. It is supposed to start snowing about 1AM. Wellll...I'm telling you, this much I know is true, it will be snowing out, there is no doubt, before this night is through. It seems whenever they make a nasty weather prediction for a certain time, whatever awful stuff is coming, always arrives about 2 hours early. Guess I will just have to deal with it. Not happy about it though. I have a wool blanket, sleeping bag, down jacket, water, and energy bars in the car. I wish I had a heavy bag of kitty litter in the trunk for traction but forgot to buy that. Wish me luck. I might just need it.

Ok, this is the next day and I know I sounded like a wuss but I had never ever driven in snow before and I do live in the mountains, so that adds to the terror. I usually make a point of staying at home during bad weather no matter what I need or where else I need to be.

Of course when it comes to my granddaughter it will be thru hell and high water to get to her no matter what. Glory be and hallelujah, though, it did not snow last night. They said it was going to be snowing pretty heavily today instead.

Well, guess what. I had to drive her back to work this morning in the snow fall. I dropped her off and hightailed it home though I really wanted to go shopping for computer bargains. When I got home, everything cleared up and I am still kicking myself for being such a scardy cat and not going to Best Buy but instead hiding out at home from the big bad storm that wasn't.

Dear Carrie Fisher

I am writing about a personal issue that you have many times spoken of very publicly. The most recent being when you were on the "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me" radio show on NPR. You again spoke of Elizabeth Taylor and how she destroyed your parent's (Debbie Reynolds and Eddie Fisher) marriage. That happened in the 50's and you were but a toddler. And this show was in 2009. It is quite obvious you were extremely affected by this.

Carrie, you need to know that Liz Taylor did not break up your happy home. You have lived your whole life not knowing the truth, that Debbie surely has known for a long time. Eddie never loved your mom. There was no happy family for Liz to destroy. Here is how I know:

Way back in the mid-50's when I was a teenager (I think about 17) living in South Florida, I walked over to visit two of my friends, Cecelia and Margaret. They were teen-aged sisters (Cece being older than me by about two years)who spent every summer in Florida but lived their lives in the Bronx. When they came to the door, CeCe was crying and Margie looked very upset. They told me they had just received a letter from Eddie. I asked, Eddie who? They said it was from their best friend from the Bronx, Eddie Fisher who now lived in Hollywood.

After they let me in, they handed me the 4 page letter. The writing was very small and I think it was printed in pencil. They said don't bother reading the whole thing, just the bottom of the last page.

This is what it said: "I am going to marry Debbie Reynolds. I don't want to marry her. I don't love her. I don't even like her. But my agent says it will be good for my career. love Eddie". Being a teenager who believed in true love and marriage, it nearly made me cry too. I realized that CeCe was in love with Eddie and probably expected to marry him someday. CeCe was in fact as cute as Debbie, petite, red-haired, a bathing suit model, and sweet as could be. Pretty much the description of Debbie except I think Debbie was a blond at the time. But CeCe was not famous.

Let me tell you, it made my heart heavy, especially when the movie magazines announced the wedding. I hate to say this, but it made me sad when you were born because I knew you would have a very difficult time once the truth came out. And I knew it would. Eddie soon found another way to boost his career, or so he thought, by marrying Liz Taylor. Poor Liz had just lost the love of her life in a plane crash so I doubt if she was thinking very clearly when she married that jerk who is your father.

So there you have it, Carrie, believe it or not. That is up to you but I hope the truth will bring you some peace as you have had a pretty rough time of it dealing with what Eddie has wrought with his self-centered superficial self. I know you are taking care of him now and I say, good for you. But please know the truth about him.

OK, I take most of that last paragraph back. Now that I have put into type what I have been thinking for a long time, I had an epiphany. It was not Eddie's fault at all. He was, in fact, a wet-behind-the-ears kid from the Bronx who was taken under the wing of his agent. I now realize the bad marriages and bad career choices rest solely on the shoulders of his agent. That man was surely the cause of Eddie's ruination.

My Run-in With the Law

It was a hot summer night. Granddaughter and I decided to drive up to Sonic for ice cream sundaes. We live in a small town so everything is less than 5 minutes away. The time was close to midnight and there were no other cars there, though we could see someone inside. We parked in one space and noticed a sign that said, Not in Service. Hmmm.... maybe they are closed and in the process of cleaning up. We pulled out and noticed that all the spaces said not in service.

We pulled around to the side of the kitchen and motioned for someone to step outside. A young woman came out and told us the Not in Service sign was for credit cards and yes, they were open. We parked and placed our order.

We decided to go on back home after we got our order so when the waitress brought our sundaes, I paid and tipped her and put the car in reverse. Glancing out the side-view mirror, I saw we were blocked in by a police car. I put my foot on the brake and waited. I think he could have been there for some time.

He then pulled up along side of us and the carhop went over to his window. I looked over at him and he gave me such a big smile that my mouth automatically curled up into a smile too. He had just warmed my heart in spite of the fact that I was very upset over the fact that these people had called the police because Granddaughter and I could not tell whether or not they were open for business.

I have a police scanner at home, like nearly everyone else in town, so I know my license number had been called in to dispatch and my name had been pulled up and announced over the air along with the alleged violation. Crazy woman at Sonic asking if they are open?? Luckily no priors or those would have been announced too. So damn disturbing when I had not really done anything at all. It still pisses me off some.

I have not been back to Sonic since, and don't plan to go back ever, but whenever I try to be mad about it, the officer's smiling face flashes in front of my eyes and my mouth just curls up into a smile and this is one year and a few months later. He really put a kind face on an otherwise humiliating experience.

The Title of my Blog

I am a Scorpio and the title of my blog, sunshine and shadows, refers to my sign. I have visited a few therapists and psychologists over these long years of my life and the most interesting one explained a lot to me about my psychological make-up. He told me as a Scorpio, I could be either a soaring eagle or a lizard who hides in the shadows, venturing now and then into the sunlight, only to scurry back again to the shadows. In my life, I am sure I was an eagle at times, especially necessary in my professional life and my divorce, but could not sustain it. I am indeed a lizard who spends way too much time in the shadows. I am wanting to again venture into the sunlight for more than a short visit.

note: one thing I need to work on in order to stay in the sunlight is....not to keep going back and reworking the previous post. Proves lack of confidence. Enough already. By the way, I am also a Type A personality. Good is never enough for me. I am a perfectionist who is far from perfect. And to top it all off, I am a pessimist, I like to say realist but let's be honest, who is happiest when I am wrong, if you know what I mean. But all too often I am right, which I never really want to be. How messed up is that?

My Most Interesting Flight

I was on the plane in Miami, waiting to fly to meet my lover in Baltimore. As I waited I glanced through a new Cosmopolitan. I had a window seat beside two empty seats. I was looking forward to seeing G in 3 hours.

Along came two tall nice-looking suits. I am not exaggerating, they were both good-looking and dressed very well. In my previous flights I had sat beside fat men, old grannies, whatever but never anyone like this. I glanced up, then down to my open magazine.

The older man sat next to me and his younger red-haired companion sat on the aisle. I would guess the older man (I will call him B) was in his mid-forties and the younger man (I will call him J) in his early thirties. The older man said as he sat down, "Finally, I get to sit beside a beautiful woman". I tried to ignore him but it did not last long. He began asking me questions about the magazine I was reading, a very sexy issue of Cosmo, and it would have been rude not to converse at this point. Though the articles suddenly embarrassed me, I tried to act cool about it. He said he was the founder of a very large and well-known realty company (I will not say the name). The guy beside him worked for him.

He asked if he could buy me a drink and though I had never drunk alcohol on a plane, it sounded like fun so I said yes. They ordered drinks for the three of us and we continued to talk. He was married and lived just outside of DC in an upscale community. His wife had the same name as I. We talked, drank, joked for about an hour. Then came an announcement from the pilot. We would be returning to Miami because a woman on board had become ill.

After returning to Miami with a brief layover, we took off again for Baltimore. That delayed arrival by about two hours so I worried that G may no longer be there to meet me. By now J was simply reaching into the bottom of the drink cart as it went by and retrieving tiny whiskey bottles without paying for them. They kept refilling my glass as well as their own. After awhile casual conversation ended and serious bantering and begging ensued. B was adamant that I was going with him when we landed. I was laughingly saying that was not going to happen. I had told him I was meeting a boyfriend and he kept saying if he was not there, I was going with him.

He also kept saying that if G was there to meet me, that he wanted me to meet him at the Hasta in Coral Gables on December 15 at 8 PM. (This was at the end of October). He kept saying that and I kept saying, no I will not be there. He repeated it as if he did not want me to forget the time and date and said he would wait all night for me if need be. I would not agree. But we continued to banter back and forth and drink and laugh. It was the most fun I had had in a long time.

Finally the fasten seat belts sign came on and we prepared to land. More urgent begging ensued which I laughed off. Just as we landed, J gathered up the many many empties and tossed them into my large handbag. I just chuckled and zipped it up. I was a bit drunk by now. As we stood to exit, B and J grabbed my carry-on and garment bag. They were pretty sure we were leaving the airport together. I did not know at that point that we were not.

As we stood up and squeezed into the aisle, me in front flanked closely by the two men, a young female voice from behind them announced: "My name is Julie and I have been listening to you guys this entire flight. I will meet you at the Hasta in December." I glanced around along with the guys and we saw a very attractive smiling young woman. I fully expected these men to turn from me and take her up on her offer and I would not blame them. But they turned away and totally ignored her.

We continued off the plane and there right outside the door of the plane (long before all the security we have now) stood G in tan slacks, navy blue sport jacket, dress shirt open at the collar, tall, smiling, handsome, oh my Lord. I ran into his waiting arms and held on. Then B and J walked up, handed him my bags, shook his hand and walked away. No, I did not meet B at the Hasta in December. I did have a moment wondering about it on that evening but I did not go.

Note: As I found out later, G gladly shook hands and thanked the two suits outside the plane because he thought they were airline officials escorting me off. He assumed that I had been the woman who had become ill on the plane. I, of course, told him the truth and he was not all that happy, especially when I emptied my handbag of all the empty whiskey bottles after we arrived at his apartment. Remember, I was still a bit drunk. All was well though and we had a most wonderful weekend.

A Glance at the Past

A couple days ago I took my lovely granddaughter to the airport for her flight to see her mom in Florida. After she had gathered her stuff and started through security, I headed for the exit.

My heart dropped when I spotted a young man in tan trousers, navy blue sport jacket, white dress shirt open at the neck, also heading for security. He had a remarkable resemblance (face and build and manner of dressing) to an old (young) love of mine of many years ago. I suddenly recalled flying to Baltimore for a romantic birthday weekend with my lover who was a bit younger than I. I was 37 and he was 32. I remembered exiting the plane and throwing myself into the waiting arms of this tall handsome man whom I had not seen in three months. I thought I loved him so very much. He was single (divorced) and I had been divorced for over a year. The flight there is a story in itself, so I will not go into that right now.

The point of this is to say that seeing that young man striding through the airport on Thursday, painfully reminded me that I am old now, 73, and the days of flying around rendezvousing with a sexy handsome lover, celebrating our reunions by feasting on lobster in fancy restaurants in Baltimore, Birmingham, Sanibel Island, nights of desperate passion (not knowing when we would see each other again), and so much more are long over. I walked out into the sun-filled parking lot with a freshly broken heart, realizing once more that I am old and I will never have that experience again. Thinking my body has failed me, because my mind cannot yet grasp the levity of aging.